Quick notes – Left-click = Interact, Right-Click=Talk, Inventory Bar is at the top of the screen.
This walkthrough takes you through the essential steps you will need to go through in order to complete the game.
Please note that if you do ONLY these things you will miss out on a lot of jokes and cheesy voice acting.

Act I

The first thing you have to do when you can control the player is find the manual. I mean you don’t need a hint for that, do you? Really? Okay, it’s near the bottom of the screen. Then use the HUD. It doesn’t matter what you type in here.

After you transport down to the planet, you will have the planet’s language downloaded into your brain – OH NO! It only half worked. Apart from the aliens who can speak English (Customs Official and Speeder Saleswoman) and the robots you encounter, you will be able to understand what the natives say, but not be able to communicate with them. Well you CAN make random noises at them, since very sound means SOMETHING in the Acturan language, but the response may not be helpful. (If you want to try doing this though there are some hints in the game and some jokes that you won’t encounter otherwise – it’s up to you!)

Go through all the available dialogues with the Customs Official. The try to walk through the security gate to the Custom Official’s left (well, his right, but left of him as it appears on the screen) – you will be searched. Eek! You find out that jelly babies – and jelly alies – are contraband on Acturus-1. Pick up the Leaflet – this has a map on it, which you can access to travel between areas by looking Looking At or Interacting with the Leaflet. The map also comes up if you exit any location on Acturus-1.

Hmm... the Marketplace looks interesting but it appears to not be open yet. Visit the Speeder Showroom instead. Go through the door and speak to the Speeder Saleswoman. Go through all the dialogues. Pick up a Pen from the Pen Holder on the Desk.

Now visit the RoboBar. You can’t get in yet because you don’t have a Membership Card, but to the right there’s Pile of Rocks and a single Rock by itself. Pick up the Rock – there’s a Worm underneath. Pick up the worm. Yuk! – but, you now have a worm.

Go to the Marketplace. Two traders share jokes, among which is that they played a prank on the Customs Official – apparently he is really scared of glow worms. Travel to the other side of the marketplace and go through the small entrance on the right-hand side, near where the mystic sits. (You don’t actually need to talk to the Mystic at all to complete the game, but you might find him amusing – similarly with the News Ticker, they’re there for laughs and hints only.) Use the Worm with the Florescent Paint. Go out of the shop and walk to the left a little. Take an Application form.


Now go to the Customs Office. Use the Pen on the Application Form and then post the form in the Post Box. You find out that the snail mail on this planet is delivered to the Rubbish Dump. Unfortunately you can’t go there yet! Use the Glow Worm on the Customs Official. While he’s hiding under the desk, pick up the Contraband Detector.

Now that we’ve got the Contraband Detector, what can we do with it? Go to the Marketplace. You may have already noticed a small box underneath Denzel’s stall (the one selling weapons with the floating red alien). Stand next to this and use the Contraband Detector. Aha! It’s a box of Jelly Alies. You can’t pick it up yet – but if you try, it shouldn’t be long before Tony calls his buddy Denzel over for a joke he can’t “say out loud”. While Denzel is away from his stall, pick up the Jelly Alies. While you’re there, help yourself to a Flash Grenade. If you’re not quick enough to get both, you’ll just have to wait till Denzel is away from the stall again – this happens intermittently anyway, and you trying to pick up either the Jelly Alies or Flash Grenade should help encourage it to happen quicker.

Got to the shop on the left of Ten-Eyed Tony’s stall (“Ralph’s Rocks”). You could take the Meteorite and give it to the RoboBouncer – it won’t help, but you might be amused. Then again you might not. Anyway, you might notice that Ralph eats rather a lot. What’s that in his stomach? Could it be a Membership Card? It is! That tummy looks pretty full... perhaps if Ralph eats something else, it won’t be able to hold any more? Wait... did Ralph mention that he likes Jelly Alies? He did! Give the Jelly Alies to Ralph and... stand back (actually CD will automatically stand back, sensing what will happen next...) Ugh... disgusting! But, you now have a Membership Card!

Exit Ralph’s shop and go to the Bank, just to the right of Denzel’s stall. You don’t need to do anything here – possessing the Flash Grenade is enough to trigger a cut scene. Hurrah! You now have 300 Galactic Credits. Wonder what you can buy with it? More on that later... You could pop into the Energy Shop but will be thrown out because you don’t have a King Fan Club card. But you will get one once you can work out how to get into the Rubbish Dump...

It’s not time to visit the RoboBar, which the RoboBouncer will let you enter now that you have a Membership Card. Speak to the Bartender (disembodied robotic head on the bar), go through all the dialogue options. Pick up the Castor Oil. Head right – checking out the merry jokes along the way if you check out the posters or robot dancers – and head over to the Competition Area. Enter the blue booth at the back and talk to the machine. Go through the dialogues. Great! You now have 20,000 Galactic Credits – just the amount you need to buy the Gruntmaster 6000, the worst speeder this side of Alpha Centuri! You will automatically speak to Sir Mix-A-Bot. He needs water. Where did we see some freely available water? Go to the Marketplace, and go to The Other Side. Use the Castor Oil with the Fountain. Now go back to the RoboBar and give the Water to Sir Mix-A-Bot. The dancers have gone crazy! One of them is talking to the suspiciously familiar looking robot with the cigar. You’re going to need that hat – pick it up when the Fembot’s attention is elsewhere.

Go to the Speeder Salesroom. Speak to the Saleswoman or given her the 20000 Galactic Credits. You are now the proud owner of a Gruntmaster 6000! It may be awful but at least you can now go to the Rubbish Dump. Go on, give it a try! At the Rubbish Dump entrance head towards the right, and interact with the Security Pylon. Aha! Now you know what you needed the hat for, but you need another item of clothing too... go back to the Marketplace, go to the other side and visit the shop on the left (Harry’s Haberdashery). Wait! You can’t make yourself understood in Acturan! Or... can you? Since money is a universal language, simply give the 300 Galactic Credits to Tino and he will tell you that this will buy you a Safety Jacket – just the thing to let that pylon know you’re the real deal! Combine the Security Jacket with the Rubbish Dump Hat to make a grade A “Rubbish Dump Uniform”. Go back to the Rubbish Dump and try getting scanned again (use the Rubbish Dump Uniform with either the Security Pylon or the Changing Booth). Success! You need to walk back and interact with the Speeder to go in as it’s a big place!

You will now see a map of the Rubbish Dump. Head first to the one labelled “Strange Object”. Groan at the terrible pun. Pick up the King Fan Club Membership Card. Interact with the Monkey Bones to get a Femur. You can now use your Quadcorder to record sounds – Look at your Quadcorder and set it to Sound Recorder Mode. Go to the Wreckage at the bottom of the tip. Use the Quadcorder on the Rib Box to record your melody. Use the Femur with the Loose Metal Sheet. Listen to my amazing rendition of Richard Strauss and if you have the volume up high enough you’ll hear my very young at the time daughter joining in. Pick up the Metal Sheet. Not go to the Wreckage at the top let. Use the Metal Sheet with the Oil Pool, then use the Quadcorder on the Oil Pool With Metal Sheet – and you have your Beat. If you visit the Wreckage to the right of the tip you find a rhythm, but it’s too slow. Go back to the Marketplace and enter the Energy Shop (right of the Bank). He will happily let you in now that you are a King Fan Club member. Interact with the Model. If you use the Tablet Interface it gives you a poem, with each line a clue to the correct colour. The answers are pretty easy to find, working out where to put them is perhaps a little less so. (Although this puzzle can also be solved by trial and error if you decide to go down that route.) The answers are: Left (top to bottom) Purple – Yellow – Green, Right (top to bottom) Red – Yellow – Black. Once you’ve solved the puzzle a new interface comes up – you can do them all for fun but the one you need is “Lost”. This transfers some energy over to V-Ger’s location and makes the engine run faster. Go back to the Rubbish Dump, Wreckage on the right-hand side, and use the Quadcorder on the Nacelle. Head back to the RoboBar and talk to Sir Mix-A-Bot.

After the cut scene, go to the Marketplace. You can now speak Acturan! Go to the Energy Shop. You receive an Energy Phial. Head to the Other Side. Talk to Two-Eyed Tina. If the option to ask her for a favour doesn’t come up, go back to the Customs Official as you have missed a dialogue option.) She will now vouch for you. Visit the Haberdashery – you don’t need to in order to complete the game, but you really don’t want to miss it! Go back to the Customs Office. Talk to the Customs Official and tell him you’ve found an organic to vouch for you. Then give him the Energy Phial. Use the Communicator to talk to Zero-Bit and find out what you need to say to find the contact who has the package you’re supposed to be picking up. Go to the Marketplace, and to the Other Side. Enter the shop on the right with the small doorway. Talk to the guy with the huge nose.

End Act I

Act II

First get some items from the Replicator – it will save you some time later. Get the English Breakfast Tea, Choc-O-Sludge, Marshmallow Brick and Cheese Crunchies. Travel left tot he Cargo Bay. Pick up the Gold Spraycan. Use the Hand Scanner. Use the Lift. Open the Storage Cupboard and get the Oily Rag and X-Shaped Stapler. Go to the right and Look at the Sticky Note on the Starter Motor. Look at the Quadcorder and turn it to Magnet mode, then Use it on the Copious Dust. You will find a magnet. Use the Gold Spraycan on this. Loot at the X-Shaped Stapler – you will have a new speed dial added to your Commentator. Use the Communicator and speak to Sirius Cybernetics Helpline. You can now use the Stapler – but you need some kind of anaesthetic. Just left of the Starter Motor is a Coolant Pipe. Use that, then quickly Look at the Handscan Printout. Use the X-shaped Stapler on your thumb. Use the Gold Ring on your ring finger. Use the Oily Rag with the left side of your hand. Use the Cheese Crunchies on the tip of your ring finger, and the Choc-O-Sludge Bar on your Index and Middle Finger.

Go back up in the lift and after the cut scene use the Hand Scanner again. Pick up the Blue Cup. Interact with the pillow on the top bunk. Pick up the Fizzy Drink. Look at Bedtime Reading. Go into the Cockpit and pick up the Gravity-Defying Pizza Box. Interact with the Pizza Box. Talk to the pizza if you want. Use the English Breakfast Tea in the Microwave – set it to 10:30 at 40% power. Go out to the Cargo Bay. Use the Pizza Box with the Virtual Aquarium. Look at the Pizza Box and take the Slice of Petrified Pizza. Go down in the Lift again. Use the Blue Cup with Copious Dust. Whilst the Broom Alien is busy tidying up the mess you’ve just made, open the Storage Cupboard and get the Jerry Can. Go and get another cup full of dust, and this time spray it gold. Set the Quadcorder to Bottle Opener Mode. Use the Quadcorder on the Fizzy Drink. One of the trickiest parts of the fuel components puzzles is the firefly – you can’t get one of these so you have to make one. Use the King Fan Club Card with the Glow Worm. Hmm... you need another wing. Use the RoboBar Membership Card on it. Still not quite right... use the Pen on the Glowworm with Two Wings.

Now you have all the fuel components, put them in the Jerry Can - Cup of Gold Dust, Funny Looking Tea, Firefly (sort of), Carbonic Drink and Slice of Petrified Pizza. Go down to the Engine Room and use the Jerry Can with the Input Valve. Use the On/Off Lever. After Zero-Bit pranks you, it’s time to zoom off to Proboscis Major. ENGAGE!

Here endeth Act II... er... okay, no it doesn’t. Ground Control are rather upset with you. It appears you’ve managed to bring the Contraband Detector with you and the authorities want it back. It should be a simple case of transporting it down, but... yup, there’s a problem with the transporter. Wouldn’t you just know it. Head back to the bedroom. Use the Shower Door Control and take the Soap – you’re going to need that later. In the Cargo Bay interact with the Trunk. Use the Quadcorder (it will still be in Bottle Opener Mode) on the Latch. Us the Contraband Detector on the Gramdma’s Space Trunk. Use Soap on Beacon Port. Use the Marshmallow Brick with the Empty Bottle. Then use the Bottle with Marshmallow on the Beacon Port. Set the Quadcorder to Magnet Mode. You have to be quick with the next bit – use the Bottle Cap with the Open Latch, then use the Quadcorder with the Latch.

End Act II

Act III

Interact with the door – put in any number, it doesn’t matter, it’ll be wrong. Head down to StarDucks. Interact with the Dumpster twice – first to open it, then to search it. What is this Strange Device? Interact with it to check it out – whoa! It’s an invisibility device! But... it doesn’t last very long. Look at the Strange Device – hmm, seems that if we can find a natural source of energy, we might be able to recharge these batteries.

Enter StarDucks. Talk to the Waitress. Talk to the Barista – you get a Java Lava. Talk to the Artist and make sure you do the dialogue regarding Biciloti – you now have a Biscotti. Pick up a Pool Stick (not sure why it’s not a Pool Cue, but there you go.) Exit the cafe and head for the Rocky Area. Talk to the Archaeologist. Give him the Book – he will give you the Ancioscope in return. But it needs a bit of fixing – more on this later.

Go back to the Coffee Shop – the Waitress is receiving an order from the General. He loves his coffee! Whilst she’s away, use the Pool Cue on the Gap under the Counter to push the control of the Barista’s seat. (CD won’t do it with the Waitress there.) Gran the Seasoning Shaker to get hold of some of that lovely explosive Dutainium. Go to the Rocky Area again. Use the Dutainium on the Rocks. Now use the Biscotti on the Dutainium (to delay the explosion). Then use the Java Lava on the Dutainium with Biscotti.

As Jurgen Klopp would say - Boom!

Enter the Cave. Check out the Pictograph. Use the Ancioscope on the Pictograph. The Archaeologist wasn’t joking about this thing needing fixing! Okay, so maybe a coloured lens of some kind... hmm, didn’t the Artist have rose-coloured glasses? Go back to Star Ducks and talk to the Artist again - there is a new dialogue option. Basically you have to upset the Artist by telling him that you hate his art. Eventually he will give you his glasses – that was the problem, you can see how awesome his art is now! Unfortunately without the pink lenses he view his own work in quite as positive a manner. So he lets you keep the glasses while he ponders his life choices. Use the Rose-Coloured Glasses with the Anxioscope.

Go back to the cave and use the Repaired Ancioscope with the Pictograph. You see a strange creature with divisions of colour – Blue – Green – Blue – Red – Green – Red – Green. There are 3 caves with energy pools in just past the pictograph – the first is Red, the second Green, the third Blue. You have to fill the Java Lava cup with energy in the order shown on the Pictograph. Then use the Java Lava with the Dead Batteries. Use the Charged Batteries with the Invisibility Device. That should last longer!

The next bit is a timing puzzle. Go to the Military base. You can hear the General make is orders for more coffee. If you don’t time things right the Waitress will see you and shoo you off. You can see the General’s silhouette at the window – when he moves away from the window after ordering is the time to turn on your Invisibility Device. You have to stand by the window, close enough to see the code being entered, but not close enough to the door to prevent the Waitress from reaching it. Once you have seen the code being entered and the Waitress has left, you only need to Interact with the Door to enter.

After listening to the General’s speech, go right to the Entryway. Pick up the Old Coffee Cup. Look at it in your inventory and you will get a Stirrer. Go left to where the scientists are. Use the Invisibility Device and go left to Interact with the Panel. From your hiding place, use the Old Coffee Cup with the Vent. Use the Invisibility Device again and head for the Nook. Oops! The scientists have worked out where the smell is coming from and turn off the thermostat. Since the scientists can smell you with their tremendous olfactory scenes, you can’t leave the Nook now. Interact with the Control Panel (depending on exactly where you’re standing you might not be able to see it, but the hotspot will still react). Use the Metal Coffee Stirrer on each Screw (only 2 of them, at the top of the Control Panel). It’s time to do some destroying! There are 5 Components in total – 3 can be picked out straight away, and 2 need to be dug out with the Metal Coffee Stirrer. Look at the long Component, then use the Metal Coffee Stirrer on it to split it in two. Not put all the Components back – you can’t put them back where they came from and CD won’t put them in the wrong place (well, you know, not in the WRONG wrong place), so it’s not difficult to solve. When you smell smoke, the scientists will leave thinking the machinery has gone wrong, and you will exit the location.

Now you’re on a set of platforms... you start at the top. Head round the corner to the left. You will find yourself at a Bog Panel, but you can’t use it yet. Go round to the left again as far as you can. Interact with the Small Panel. Go to the exit you can see above and to the left. This takes you back to the top! Go back to the Big Panel and Use it. A boot will come down to the Conveyor Belt (by the Small Panel). Go to the Conveyor Belt and Interact with it to get the Boot. Go back to the top and Use the Boot on the Cute (hey that rhymes!). Go back down to the Conveyor Belt area again (last time I promise!) and this time walk off to the bottom left – click just left of the pylon immediately to CD’s left. Then click at the bottom of the pathway at the middle of the screen.

You’re at the last bit! Interact with the Computer. There’s a BIG RED BUTTON! This time, a BIG RED BUTTON that you DO press. You have to fix the General’s flying chair so that it goes completely out of control. To do this you need to have Power on full, Boost and Sensitivity as high as they can go for the system (there’s an Instruction Card), and Gravity set to be as low as possible without it immediately being obvious to the General that something’s wrong.

These are the settings:

Power: 7
Boost: 5
Sensitivity: 5
Gravity Stabiliser: 3

Congratulations, you have completed the game!  I mean sure, if you used this walkthrough you had more than a little help, but you still had to click the mouse in the right places, right? :)

End